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Salt Lake City, UT - Supreme Court Judge Isaiah Moore ruled that
SCO must show proof of Santa Claus in the next 30 days, or he will
dismiss their lawsuit against all Christians and companies profiting
from the Christmas holiday.
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A new look for SCO CEO Kris Kringle
(formerly named Darl McBride)
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SCO, formerly known as Santa Cruz Operations, recently changed their
name to Santa Claus Operations. This change was widely regarded as
a move to improve their image after their controversial claims about
Linux. Critics of the name change say it’s just another fantasy
created by SCO CEO Kris Kringle, formerly known as Darl McBride,
to profit through litigation.
In a recent press release SCO said it would begin sending out invoices
to anyone who celebrates or profits from Christmas in the next couple
of weeks including corporations and individuals. A price list for
SCO Christmas licenses which companies and individuals need to celebrate
the holiday without violating SCO’s intellectual property rights
were released as well.
“Children can avoid penalties by sending 10% of their Christmas
gifts to SCO,” said Kringle.
Followers of the case consider the judge’s decision a defeat
for SCO, because they feel the company cannot prove the existence
of Santa Claus.
Kringle was confident that SCO would prevail in the lawsuit. He
said, “We have hundreds of e-mails addressed to Kris_Kringle@sco.com.
Under Federal law it is illegal to route e-mail to the wrong location
intentionally. This proves without a doubt that Santa Claus exists
and he works at SCO.”
Chief Counsel for the company Fred Gailey said he planned to print
out these e-mails and place them in giant mailbags to dump on the
judge’s desk. “When the judge sees the number of e-mails
we’ve received he will have to rule in our favor, or face breaking
the hearts of his grandchildren.”
“Christmas existed long before the existence of SCO,” said
VP of marketing for Giantco, Clayton Moneybags. “In fact I
heard that at one point it was about celebrating the birth of Jesus.”
SCO Vice president, Jesus Christ countered, “Don’t you
think we thought of that one too?”
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