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Office 2003 Editions: Compare Them to Previous Versions
Published: October 22, 2003
See
how upgrading to Office 2003 Editions can benefit you and your
business. Compare the features and benefits of Office 2003 Editions
with your version in the following areas: On This PageConnecting PeopleKEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
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Document Workspaces
Screw up the documents of others by
modifying, misspelling, and
garbling files using Document Workspaces. |
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| Shared
Workspace task pane
Check for updated versions of files after you've already made lots of changes
only to see that they've been modified by someone else. Find out you've wasted
your
time
even
faster than before. |
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KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
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Shared contacts
Share contacts with others to ensure that your team members have the
contacts they need to reach your spouse, dentist and hooker. |
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KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
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Meeting Workspace
Plan for and organize meetings by sharing who'll bring the donuts, paper footballs,
and other distractions in a centralized
location. |
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| Share Outlook free/busy information
Schedule meetings with people using Outlook who don't share a Microsoft
Exchange server by providing free/busy information over the Internet. This makes
it easier for people to interrupt you during important meetings, or schedule
conflicting events just to piss you off. |
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KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
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Word
selection enhancements
It's even harder to select less than a single word. Select two letters and the
whole word is highlighted. Select a word and the whole sentence is highlighted.
Select a sentence and a word in a random document on your hard drive is deleted. |
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| Word formatting restrictions
Every document must be in ALL-CAPS 42 point Times New Roman font. |
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KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
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Improved
proprietary formats
Keep information private by making sure no other program from any other manufacturer
can
open
your
documents. |
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| Better
Obfuscated XML
New XML format for documents is even more confusing for
greater pseudo-openness. |
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| Product
implantation
Each user will have a microscopic magnetic implant inserted into their skulls
to prevent unauthorized copying of Office 2003 programs. Your company doesn't
want to be liable for piracy. Trust us on this one. |
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Connecting Information
KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
Excel
2003 enhanced templates
New macros for calculating how much time until the weekend, how long you spend
playing solitaire and minesweeper, and logging aimless web surfing time. |
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| Enhanced
keyboard shortcuts in Word 2003
Keyboard shortcuts have been randomly distributed to new keys to ensure continued
product training income. |
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| Features
buried much deeper
Average menu depth has been increased to 7.4/item across the entire Office 2003
line making sure you don't accidentally select something you didn't want to. |
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| PowerPoint
dumb tag
support
For idiots who keep asking stupid questions during your presentations. |
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Outlook 2003 e-mail notification
Pop-up notification of new e-mail no matter what application you are working
in. Guaranteed to screw up your gaming experience just to let you know you've
received another spam. |
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Improved letter templates
Because someday you WILL write a letter dammit! |
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New Color Palette
We've added 3 colors to the regular palette to offer you more options
when changing your font's appearance.
Note: This feature requires Microsoft Exchange
Server 2003, Microsoft Windows Server 2003, Microsoft Encarta,
Microsoft Age of Empires,
Microsoft Flight Simulator, and Microsoft Bob.
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Outlook 2003 local caching
Local caching downloads all necessary information to your computer
as it comes in—so you're not affected by network performance
issues.
This way, instead, you are the cause of said network performance
issues. |
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Extensible smart tags
PowerPoint 2003, Outlook 2003, and Access 2003 support third-party
and customized smart tags to bring you yet another possible security
hole. |
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Access
exactly the same but costs $50 more
Access much more valuable to your corporation with $50
more on the price tag. |
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Connecting Your Home
KEY: | = Feature Included = Improved in Office 2003 Editions = New in Office 2003 Editions |
No
Reason to Upgrade
There's absolutely no reason to upgrade for home users. | |
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