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Redmond, WA - Well-known Microsoft team member Notepad rocked the
software world today when it staged a spontaneous rally to bring
attention to what it calls growing discontent with its .txt file
extension.
"These nonidentifying extension names have to go," Notepad
said to a gathering crowd of several hundred applications. "I
mean, we were cool with it back in the early days and all when it
did make sense for me to be 'text' and for Word to be a 'document'.
But times have changed, and these days all these new pups are getting
these extensions that leave you, without a doubt, about what program
you are dealing with. Just look at Real Player with its .rm files.
And then there's CoralDraw's .cdr and Excel's .xls. And for god sakes
look at .ppt. There isn't a businessperson alive that doesn't know
that's a friggin PowerPoint file!"
As the crowd murmured their opinions, some of them noticeably in
disagreement, Notepad became increasingly agitated.
"C'mon now! Let's be fair here!" Notepad pleaded. "You've
got all these obvious connections between program and extension,
but then there's me: .txt. I mean, What the hell? Where is the similarity
in that? Just look at it for a moment.... Notepad....txt. Just one
damn t in common! Even .wvx gets more prestige than that! It's time
this injustice stopped. I think it is only fair that I be known as
.ntpd from this day forward." Then, as an afterthought, Notepad
added, "Oh, and Word should become .wrd."
However, Word did not agree. An official statement they released
within an hour read: "Word supports maintenance of the status
quo in issues of file extension naming. The relationship between
Word and the Documents it creates has always been clear to the end-user
and is widely known. We have no awaiting issues with the situation." It
is widely speculated the toned down remarks were designed so as not
to antagonize Microsoft, which has historically provided enhanced
features to Word while keeping Notepad as a 'thinner', less functional
substitute.
Many analysts believe that today's rally by the slightly antiquated
Notepad, was nothing more than a publicity stunt designed to propel
its name back into the spotlight. Coming up as a major player back
during the 486 years, Notepad's popularity has foundered in recent
years with the emergence of the Internet and more souped up and business
oriented software.
"It's a natural reaction at this stage," said expert Willis
Jackson. "Notepad has lost much of its pizzazz and feels threatened
by these newcomers. So rather than concentrating on its own fans
- and they are plenty still out there - Notepad is going through
a phase of radical and irrational thinking. In the end, the best
it can do is just to settle back down and concentrate on being the
good 2 to 4 MB of RAM use application that it has always been."
Several other rally attendees had their own opinions about the situation.
When asked to comment on its MDB files - another potential naming
flashpoint - Access sheepishly replied, "Please, just give me
a chance to store your data... I can do it too you know! Please...
just one chance... I'm robust, really I am!!"
Excel, who only briefly attended the rally, didn't have much to
say when questioned. "I don't hang out with those guys that
much ya know," he told our reporter. "I mean, they do the
reports and stuff, and I just do my own thing ya know, like adding
stuff up and all that, there just isn't much conflict of interest."
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