Palo Alto, CA - Mark Zuckerberg announced today that Facebook would be implementing more ways for family to annoy you on Facebook.
"Less tech savvy Facebook users have complained that it's too easy for their smarty-pants family members to avoid them on the site. We've listened and will be making changes, so that can't happen any more," said Zuckerberg.
"I'm proud to report we had a 58% increase in reports of annoying family members on Facebook in 2009, and I expect even more with the new tools we'll be implementing in the first half of 2010," said Zuckerberg. "Auto chain-mail status creation, bypassing privacy settings and even harder to ignore Farmville requests are just a few of the upgrades."
Facebook's new relation-checking algorithm can determine whether any two people on Facebook are related with up to 98% accuracy just by analyzing profile information, Social Security number and genetic samples they now require for accounts.
One tweak will give parents the ability to ignore any privacy control settings by their children, regardless of how old the children are. "Your 20 year old daughter doesn't want you to see pictures of her acting wild at a party? There's no way she'll be able to prevent that," said Zuckerberg.
Don't think it's just parents who will be able to annoy more. Cousins, aunts, uncles, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters and any other relative within five degrees of familial relationship will be given access to these tools.
"Another useful features will be the Family Auto-Invite for all events created by users," said Zuckerberg. "We know you want Aunt Margie at the bachelor party, don't you?"
Parents are most excited about the Technical Support Ticket feature. Bob Gray, a parent of two, said, "I just file a tech support ticket with my son and he's unable to post status updates until he takes care of me and I clear the ticket. Things get done so much quicker now."
Facebook is a privately held company whose mission is to give everyone the ability to support our troops, post the fifth sentence on page 54 of the book nearest you and grow virtual cantaloupes.
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