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Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
simply amazing.
Believers
It must be because BBspot
is #1 for "Can
you hear me now guy" on Google...
From: Robert
Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 9:49 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Brain tumor
Is it true that the "can-you-hear-me-now" guy has
a brain tumor? Is that just a joke? What is his name?
I responded that it was just a joke and got this response....
From: robert brooks
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 9:06 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: RE: Brain tumor
Thank you!
But you didn't tell me his name. Is it a secret?
Yes, only I know the Verizon guy's name...
From: Intern 1
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 6:46 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Verizon Guy
I just read your article. I was wondering if you knew what
the Verizon guys actual name is. We are looking for him, because
we want to see if he can attend a celebrity event we are having
in December. If you know his name and how I can get in contact
with his people, please get back to me at this address. Thank
you and hope to hear from you soon.
Aren't you people paying attention? I'm NOT TELLING!
Another reader wants some Nigerian
millions. I'm tempted to set up an e-mail address to screw
with their heads...
From: Yolanda
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:51 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Eseman Ayele Article
The above article was sent to me by a friend and I will
like any type of forwarding information, like and email address,
mailing address etc. in order to contact Eseman Ayele.
Thank you.
Looks like we had a false positive in last
week's Mailbag, but I'll let you be the judge...
From: Kelcey
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:20 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Neo Het
BBspot-
I thought I should have clarified in my 1st email. I AM NOT A BELIEVER. I
was just wondering if you had gotten it from something obscure in the
movie or not. I know better, I visit BBspot daily.
Too Much Time
on My Hands
As predicted last
time, here are some better Excel formulas for calculating
the time until the end of the week...
From: Tofer
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 2:35 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: You asked for it
Here's one of your three improvements to the "time until
the weekend" formula. Enjoy!
=MAX(5+17/24-WEEKDAY(NOW(),2)-NOW()+TODAY(),0)
Tofer
Long time listener, first time caller.
And...
From: tes@xxxxx.xx.uk
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 5:12 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Time Until Weekend
quoting from this weeks mailbag:
Werner:
> I'm sure there is a way to do it without the ugly IF() function.
You:
> The funny thing is that three more people will e-mail me with
corrections and more efficient formulas.
Correct on both accounts, although I bet you'll have more
than just 3
emails on this subject :)
Anyway, a nicer, cleaner formula without an ugly IF is simply:
=6-WEEKDAY(NOW())+TIME(17;;)-(NOW()-TODAY())
just adding up the days till friday and whatever's left until
5pm today
the suggested cell format is again [h]:mm and if the formula
displays
#####, you should not be in the office. It's not a bug, it's a feature....
##### is visually much more impressive than 0:00 :)
Well done.
The Refrigerator
Now here's a guy who used the Internet to save some money on home
repairs, unlike my
refrigerator debacle...
From: Bryan Wallace
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 3:46 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: THANKS
My washing machine broke down yesterday while I was at work.
I, being the lazy yuppie that I am, called a repairman to come
fix it. Total cost: $40. I was unsure if I could ever look
my wife in the eyes again because she now knew just how useless
I am around the house. Your ice maker story has vindicated
my laziness and renamed it as "frugality". Thank
you so much for this great service.
sincerely,
Mr Fix It
Geek Horoscopes
Foretell
For those who doubt the abilities of our geek astrologer
take a look at the most recent Geek Horoscope for Libra then read
Zack's e-mail...
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
The computer problems you are having are definitely the hard drive and
NOT the mother board.
(Brought to you by Asus)
From: Zack
Sent: Friday, October 31, 2003 7:38 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: This week's Geek Horoscopes
I never thought much of the geek horoscopes
until this week's edition. I'm a Libra and I've been having
problems with the serial ATA RAID array on my Asus motherboard
and the system just keeps getting more screwed up as I try
to fix it. I e-mailed Asus tech support about the problem and
they suggested that it was, lo and behold, not the motherboard.
The funny thing it that it actually is a mobo problem. Absolutely
amazing, you are truly gifted.
There have been too many coincidences, for it
to be coincidental.
That's all for this week!
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