Billionaire Harlan Crow Unveils ‘BribeClarenceThomasCoin’
Washington DC - In a move that has both baffled and amused financial and political observers alike, billionaire real estate magnate Harlan Crow announced the launch of a new cryptocurrency,…
Man-made Meat Company Unleashes New Line of Ethical Human Meat for Cannibalistic Cravings
Wilson, NC - The Man-Made Meat Company announced today that it would soon be releasing a line of lab grown human meat under the EthiCann brand for cannibalistic tribes around…
FTX Founder Unveils Plan to Punish Crypto Criminals in the Metaverse, Critics Ask ‘What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Menlo Park, CA - Sam Bankman-Fried, the criminally indicted founder of FTX, has unveiled his latest project: CryptoPrison. This groundbreaking initiative partners with Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta and aims to revolutionize…
Anti-Vaxxers Oppose New Covid Vaccine Despite Potential Superpowers
Boston, MA - Anti-vaccine groups oppose a new Covid vaccine developed by Pfizer that has a chance to develop a superpower in 2% of the human population. Harold Dimner of…
Nigerian Philanthropist Can’t Give Away Millions
Lagos, Nigeria - Nigerian billionaire Esenam Ayele wants to share his millions with the rest of the world, but he's having trouble finding takers. Ayele made his millions in property…
Office Jesus Will Work Miracles for Food
Ann Arbor, MI - The recent downturn in the economy has caused many corporations to rationalize their employees. Even Office Jesus has been unable to escape the ax. Once the VP…
New Ford Exorbitant Comes With Spare Explorer
Detroit, MI - Ford Motor Company announced today the new Ford Exorbitant. The Ford Exorbitant seats 50 comfortably, and even comes with a spare Ford Explorer. The Exorbitant, built on…
Office Jesus Turns Water Into Coffee
Lufkin, TX - The workers of Selby Communications are happy once again this morning, as their Office Jesus worked his miracles with the coffee machine. Every morning for the past…