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Thursday, March 9 12:00 AM ET

Typo Prompts RIAA to Prosecute Fire Sharers

By Matt Whittaker

Los Angeles, CA - Because of a recent typo in a memo from Sony's head of Root Kit Installment, the RIAA has begun suing people for fire sharing.

Around 150 people have received summons so far, including an 83-year-old widow who left the stove on after baking scones for the local neighborhood watch group.

According to her neighbor, who is also being sued for downloading the fire, "I saw smoke coming from Mrs. Jones place around 5:30pm, so I phoned 911 and asked for the Fire Department. After being questioned for 25 minutes on who legally owned the fire and what rights they had to distribute it, an RIAA investigation team turned up and deleted it."

A crowd of surfers enjoying a drink around a campfire, spent the night in jail after admitting that only one of them had matches to light the fire. Seth, who admitted the matches were his, is now facing twenty years in prison for breach of environmental copyright laws, while eleven others will settle out of court for receiving copy protected fire.

In Wisconsin a group of Cub Scouts were arrested for copying fires from other scout groups without permission. Bob, leader of the den, said in a statement to The Wisconsin Daily, "A Dutch scout group posted an article on HackaDay explaining how they were using two sticks to make fires to light their joints. We saw the opportunity to teach the youth of our nation some basic survival tips and now we're being charged with supplying copy protected fire to minors."

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We contacted the RIAA for comment and received this statement: "If people continue to share fires then the entire recording industry will go up in smoke. Fire sharing has cost us around $1618 thousand billion in lost revenue. Our official slogan on this is "Burning is a crime". If people want a fire in their home then they must buy a legitimate DRM encoded fire.

Bob Geldof is organizing a Fire Aid concert to raise funds to fight unlawful lawsuits (and feed neglected tribes of Pygmies in Japan). It is set to kick off in Brazil with a spectacular display of some 1000 hectares of native rain forest being burned to prepare for the arrival of Britney Spears' lawyer.

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