Monday, June 14 12:00 AM ET

EU Required to "Unbundle Scotland" in Microsoft Counter-suit

Brussels - European Union efforts to force Microsoft to "unbundle" Windows Media Player from its OS have led to an MS counter-suit to demand the unbundling of Scotland from the EU.

The move comes as the Microsoft Court of International Justice meets to discuss anti-trust proceedings against the Union.

Head of Software Imperialism at Microsoft, Alan Kee, told the Court that the EU was in violation of monopoly law by not allowing the European user experience to be exploited without bundling in something Scottish along the way.

"Countless American tourists buy in to the EU experience without realizing that they are not obliged to travel to Scotland, look up ancestors, wear tartan or listen to the sound of bagpipes", said Mr Kee in his opening summary this morning. "Microsoft calls on the EU to unbundle Scotland forthwith, or be subjected to sanctions which may include a new version of PowerPoint with elongated slide transitions that will take the average presentation to more than one working day in length. That'll make them sit up and think."

Software problems temporarily halted, proceedings however, when officials were led down a series of dialog boxes to areas of Microsoft Windows not encountered before. After a lengthy adjournment and a series of controlled explosions, Microsoft Technical Support initiated Access Mode: Standby Protocols and pulled the cord from the wall.

European Union IT supremo Dirk Porn is due to issue a statement tomorrow.

Story used with permission from our fine friends at Social Scrutiny.