|
I've gotten a lot of emails recently asking me "Nolan,
what does it take to be a successful support technician?" and I've
decided to assemble in one place all the skills necessary for success
in this most envious of fields. You may find that you have what it
takes to be like me. So without any further fanfare, I give you
Nolan Curtis' Ultimate Tech Support Resume
Support Technician *insert
your own name here*
Objectives: To secure a position in the lucrative and
rewarding field of technical support. To give me the opportunity
to enrich my own skills while being rewarded with the satisfaction
of those whom I have bestowed my wisdom upon.
Education:
M.I.T. *Miami Institute of Taxidermy - Miami, FL* Magna
cum Laude *ranked 2nd in a class of 5*
Gilbert Lowell School for the Gifted
Dwight D. Eisenhower Elementary School *I got an
A in art, but failed phys ed*
Work Experience:
Sept 1989-June 1990 : Babbages, Sales Associate *fired*
July 1990-Aug 1990 : Compuserve, Support Rep *fired*
Aug 1990-Oct 1993 : America Online (AOL), Personal Helper *fired*
Nov 1993-Feb 1994: Grandpa's Lap, Exotic Dancer
May 1994-May 1994: Hardee's, Chicken Frier *quit*
May 1994-May 1994: Microtex, Tech Support *fired*
May 1994-May 1994: TeknoMicro, Tech Support *fired*
May 1994-June 1994: TeqnoTek Technologies, Tech Support *fired*
June 1994-Jan 2001: Microsoft, janitor *arrested,
charges dropped*
Jan 2001-Present: BBspot, Supervising Technical Support Engineer
Technical Skills:
I have owned, operated, and been intimate with computers since I was a
young boy. I cut my teeth on a Kaypro
8088, I was around for the birth of the Internet*at
1200 baud*, and today I bathe in the glow that Linus Torvalds *and
George Lucas* give off. In fact, I have been told on a number of
occasions that I am more suited to a life with computers than with living,
breathing humans.
I am fluent in Klingon, and familiar with all the Lucas Arts games *Even
Star Wars Demolition and Force Commander, despite how severely they sucked*.
I use Mac, Microsoft, and Linux operating systems, run my own webserver
and FTP, and on weekends, I host an Everquest campaign based on the life
of Sally Field. I am an expert defragger, and run scandisk sometimes twice
a day.
Interpersonal Skills
None to speak of.
Certifications:
WNBA
NAACP
LSAT
MMMBOP
ATS/DRC
References:
Upon request. |
More
Nolan Curtis
Recommend this
Story to a Friend
|
