San Francisco, CA – In a display of financial braggadocio that would make Scrooge McDuck blush, billionaire space oddity Elon Musk commenced a one-man bonfire yesterday, directly outside the headquarters of the recently renamed social media giant X, formerly known as Twitter.
“I plan on burning a billion dollars out here today and I’ll still have more than all you losers combined,” proclaimed Musk, brandishing a flamethrower of Boring Company origin. Standing amidst piles of crisp $100 bills that amounted to a literal fraction of his wealth, he unleashed a blaze that sent ash raining down on the Silicon Valley HQ.
Musk’s fiery spectacle did more than just singe the eyebrows of bewildered passersby and inflate the egos of pyromaniacs everywhere. In true Musk fashion, it sparked a wave of followers, caught between their admiration for the billionaire and their crippling student loan debts.
“I mean, if Elon can burn a billion, I can burn 20 bucks,” stated one young man, who had paused his DoorDash deliveries to join the growing crowd outside X HQ.
This newfound trend, now dubbed #BurnLikeMusk, spread faster than a California wildfire across social media platforms. Videos of individuals torching their hard-earned cash in solidarity with Musk began appearing online, culminating in an estimated total of $25 and a used iTunes gift card.
In response, financial analysts were quick to point out the recklessness of the act, citing basic economic principles, common sense, and the fact that fire is hot and burns things.
“Perhaps this isn’t the best way to emulate your heroes,” cautioned financial advisor, Prudence Saver. “There are other ways to #BurnLikeMusk that don’t involve self-induced bankruptcy or possible third-degree burns.”
At the time of writing, X had yet to release an official response. However, a solitary tweet from their account, which read “Is anyone else smelling burnt Benjamins?” suggested that they were less than thrilled with the eccentric billionaire’s fiery antics.