Austin, TX – In a move that is sure to excite slothful Americans everywhere, Tesla has announced plans to develop a self-driving chair for people who work from home.
According to sources within the company, the “Tesla Chair” will be equipped with state-of-the-art sensors and software that will allow it to navigate around obstacles, avoid spills, and even deliver snacks and drinks directly to its occupant’s mouth.
“Let’s face it, Americans are getting fatter and lazier every day,” said Tesla CEO Elon Musk in a press release. “We saw an opportunity to capitalize on this trend and create a product that would make it even easier for people to stay glued to their computers without ever having to get up and move around.”
The self-driving chair will reportedly be powered by Tesla’s patented “Laz-E-Matic” technology, which will allow it to automatically adjust its position and angle to ensure maximum comfort for its occupant. It will also come equipped with a built-in AI assistant that will be able to handle all of the user’s work-related tasks, leaving them free to focus on more important things like binge-watching Netflix and ordering takeout.
“We’re really excited about the potential of this product,” said Musk. “We think it’s going to be a game-changer for the home office market, and we’re already seeing a lot of interest from people who just can’t be bothered to get up and walk to the fridge.”
Critics have already voiced concerns about the potential health risks associated with prolonged sitting, but Musk insists that the Tesla Chair is perfectly safe.
“We’ve done extensive testing on this product, and we’re confident that it’s just as safe as our electric vehicles” he said. “Plus, if you’re worried about the health risks, you can always order one of our new Tesla Treadmills to go with it.”
The self-driving chair is expected to hit the market later this year, with an estimated retail price of $10,000. Whether it will be a hit with the American public remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: it’s going to be a lot easier to get fat and lazy in the future.