Brought to you by an angry dungeon master
| Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19 I didn’t spend three hours on this horoscope just for you to bypass it with a polymorph spell! Taurus Apr 20 – May 20 May your encounters this week be filled with nat 1 charisma rolls you ungrateful bastard. Gemini May 21 – June 21 You can multiclass your life as a Bard-Wizard-Fighter-Monk if you want to, but you’ll never be making a saving throw. Cancer June 22 – July 22 Would it be so hard for you to roleplay just ONE TIME this week. I know you have social anxiety, but you’re among friends and IT”S PART OF THE GAME! Leo July 23 – Aug 22 You can try to rules lawyer your way out a sticky situation this week, but I don’t think the judge is going to interpret it with the rule of cool. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Might I suggest not splitting up the party yet again this week. You never seem to learn. | Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 No, you shouldn’t try to seduce everyone you meet this week. It never works out, does it? Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 Paying attention to what’s going on around you will be key this week, so maybe put away your phone for once! Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 I know you’ve been burned before, but I swear it’s just a plain, unlocked wooden door. Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 Taking an eight-hour nap after every 2 minute encounter is no way to go through life. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 I don’t know what I would do in your situation. It’s not my character! Maybe if you stopped chit-chatting with Steve when it wasn’t your turn you’d have idea. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You’re going to have a great week, because I’m the dungeon master, that’s why. |