| Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19 You discover the perils of infinite scrolling when you wake up in the year 2250. You’re still alive which is good, but you’re the only one which is also good. Taurus Apr 20 – May 20 You become worried about all the recent bank failures only to remember you lost all your money arbitraging toilet paper during the pandemic. Gemini May 21 – June 21 Your cybersecurity training lets you down during the cyborg apocalypse. Your really shouldn’t have skipped that day. Cancer June 22 – July 22 You realize that you’ve spent more time buying games during Steam sales than actually playing any games. Wait, the Spring Sale is on now? Leo July 23 – Aug 22 The stars say that avoiding Covid for three years is an amazing feat, but it would be even more amazing if you left the house once during that time. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 You come to the realization that you made better content with your Star Wars action figures as a child, than Disney has since they acquired the franchise. | Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 You roll a nat 20 on your persuasion roll. Unfortunately, the police officer is still writing you a ticket. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 You be startled to discover that Google’s new AI bot was created using all the data it collected from you over the years. Now everyone can tap into your wisdom, and that’s scary. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 Your preparations for the upcoming PC release of The Last of Us gets you in trouble with the local mushrooming club. They just don’t understand how dangerous fungi can be. Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 You’ll suspect that Hollywood has reached the bottom of the barrel after Netflix announces it’s releasing a series of movies in the Centipede Cinematic Universe with tracball for added realism. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You make the mistake of opening your Tik Tok in front of your family, and they discover your penchant for Leia slave girl cosplay. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Everyone will love your take on AI putting people out of work. Unfortunately, it’s just a bunch of discord bots. |
🎯 will hoist a pint to this BB post…cheers