| Taurus Apr 20 – May 20 You’ll discover that you can build a small shelter with all of boxes from the board games you bought. You’ll also discover that you probably should’ve paid your rent instead of getting the latest Wingspan expansion. Gemini May 21 – June 21 Your idea for a comic about the League of Extraordinary Spellers gets rejected again. This time by your mom. Cancer June 22 – July 22 You finally are successful in lobbying the Astrological Association of America to change the name of your sign to tuberculosis. Leo July 23 – Aug 22 You will watch more content on your 6″ phone screen this week than your 75″ TV to avoid dealing with your family. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Bad News: You can’t generate geek horoscopes using AI, because it’s not funny. Good News: You still have a job. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 This week you will discover that sharing Geek Horoscopes on social media improves your social standing and raises your IQ. | Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 You will finally remember the difference between nihilism and existentialism only to realize it doesn’t matter. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 You will accidentally click on a link that destroys your perfectly curated news recommendations, and you’re never able to recover. Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 You’ll discover that he sandwich artists at Subway are not interested in knowing the number of sandwich permutations they can create with their ingredients. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You were disappointed Covid didn’t result in a zombie apocalypse, but the stars say to never give up hope. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You will spend more time than you expected making AI ChatBots talk to each other this week. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19 You’ll spend too much time this week contemplating if the word dwarf comes from the mythological creatures or if the mythological creatures are short because an existing word. |