11. Requested party members to farm candy, but didn't get any takers.

10. Used all the Mentos I bought during production of my latest YouTube video.

9. I'm Schroedinger's house. When you opened the door my candy disappeared.

8.  I thought giving out condoms would be more beneficial to society.

7. Too busy installing Windows 7 patches to buy candy.

6. My mother was killed by a peanut M & M.

5. Better sales on candy on November 1.

4. All the candy was eaten by the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal.

3.  I sent all the candy to a Nigerian prince.

2. I calculated the cost / benefit ratio, and saw all cost and no benefit.

1. All the kids in this neighborhood are too fat already including you.