Wednesday, January 13 12:59 PM ET

China to Build Googgle.cn Hopes No one Notices

By Brian Briggs follow me on Twitter.

Beijing, China - With news that Google will no longer censor search results and possibly pull out of China, because of hacking attacks, the Chinese government announced it would be creating its own search engine and email services at googgle.cn and geeemail.cn.

Chinese Ministry of Freedom and Internet, Hu Ya said, "We don't need Google polluting the minds of our comrades with unfiltered search results. What sort of dangerous thoughts would be inspired by Dramatic Prairie Dog or Star Wars Kid? We can't take that chance, so we're building a knock-off, alternative site for them."

Wai Ming said he loved the site, "The new Googgle.cn is a great site for the people. It is much better than Cats. I'm going to use it again and again." He was then returned to his prison cell.

Hui also said that DNS queries for Google.cn will be redirected to googgle.cn by government servers.

Activists suspect that all traces of Google will be erased in the country. Noted human rights activist Pai Xi said, "Just like Tienanmen Square, Fraiser, and the UFO landing, Google will be removed from the minds of all Chinese citizens."

Due to lax intellectual property laws, Google will not be able to do anything about the knockoff sites, but many suspect that China has ruined its shot to be head of the United Nations of Google when the Google Hegemony takes power of the planet in 2012.

Google engineers were worried that the sites would be built with cheap and dangerous materials such as ASP. Carol Conrad, search architecture engineer at Google said, "They could be using ASP or even Cold Fusion for their sites. They probably use lead wires in their servers, too. They have no safety standards over there."