Redmond, WA – Microsoft announced yesterday that Apple CEO and Chairman Steve Jobs would be joining Microsoft as its CEO replacing Steve Ballmer, whose performance in that position has been disappointing to investors. This broadens Microsoft's raid on Apple employees, which had only been focused on Apple Store managers.
 It's a bold move by Microsoft that should shake up the entire technology industry.
Jobs was asked what could lure him away from the company that he co-founded to a company he has had a rocky relationship with for years. "I'd rather not get into that, but let's just say that if I need another organ, I won't have to wait too long," said Jobs.
Jobs said he was excited by the opportunity to work at a company that has actual market share in the industry. "At Apple we dominated the smart phone market, and the music player market, but those are nothing compared to the markets that Microsoft dominates in, that kind of market muscle delights me to no end," said Jobs.
Undoubtedly, with his holdings at Apple, Steve Jobs will still wield much influence at his former company, which should draw the attention of anti-trust officials and raise issues of a conflict of interest with shareholders and the FTC. However, Jobs insists it won't be an issue. "Running Apple bored me. I'm done with them. To think I'd waste my time doing anything for that company when I have such a challenge at Microsoft is ridiculous," said Jobs.
Many Apple faithful were confused at what to do next. "I've been told all my life that Microsoft sucks and Steve Jobs is awesome. Now that they've joined forces, I don't know what to do. I feel as if my brain might explode, but I don't want to get any brain matter on my MacBook Air," said Apple fan Brian Dawson of Cincinnati, Ohio.
Industry insiders were surprised by the move, but generally gave a positive spin on the move. "This puts Microsoft back in the game. They were becoming an also-ran in the tech sector, but Jobs should be able to steer them back into respectability like he did with Apple," said Bear Stearns market analyst Devon Williams.
Steve Ballmer will remain in his small, padded office in Redmond, but will be relieved of any day-to-day duties.
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