Thursday, March 12 12:00 AM ET

Obama to Establish Department of Watchmen to Oversee Watchmen

Washington D. C. – With his wide-ranging budget proposal, the Obama administration plans to establish a new cabinet-level Department of Watchmen to oversee Watchmen-related activities.

“For too long people have asked, 'Who watches the Watchmen?'  Now we have an answer.  It'll be the Secretary of Watchmen, who will be responsible for overseeing all Watchmen activities and handling Watchmen regulations,” said Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs.

This would be the first act of reconciliation with the Watchmen after the repeal of the Keene act in January.

"The Watchmen have been a largely unregulated group of costumed adventurers for a long time.  They have depended on each other to keep safe and secure.  The Department of Watchmen will not only help the Watchmen keep safe and secure, but it will also establish regulations to prevent abuses by the Watchmen, so all citizens can enjoy their protection," said Gibbs.

It's expected the establishment of the new department will face strong opposition from Senator Rorschach (R – Texas). Reading from his journal, Senator Rorschach said, "Rorschach's Journal, March 11, 2009.  The city is foul with the stench of stinking politicians.  The slime oozes out of the caked remains of defeated bills littering the floors of Congress.  The Senate Clerk will cry for my vote, and I'll whisper 'No!'"

Speculation about who would become the first Secretary of Watchmen has already started.  Many think retired Watchmen, Nite Owl could be the leading candidate with Senator Spectre (D – New York) and Senator Specter (R- Pennsylvania) as other top candidates.

The budget also includes money for intrinsic field research to try and duplicate the missing Dr. Manhattan, and a proposal for establishing an X-Files division in the FBI.