Wednesday, July 30 12:00 AM ET

New BitTorrent Stores Open in Undisclosed Locations

Somewhere in the USA - That nondescript store with no sign and people lined up outside, might not be the crack house you suspect it is, it could be one of the new "We Download Your Stuff on BitTorrent" stores.

This new "one-stop spot for everything multimedia" promises discount prices for any content you want. Music, movies, and software are all available upon request. The store will download the software and burn a copy for you while you wait saving you the trouble and possible legal exposure of downloading it yourself.

"We've worked out deals with many of the major trackers to get the best seeds and therefore the highest download rates possible," said Jolly Roger (not his real name) who manages one company's thirty-six locations around the United States. "We also verify the song, movie or program to make sure it is what it says it is, and provide any crack or serial number required for normal operation"

The store expects to be popular among dial-up users and those wishing to avoid legal entanglements with the RIAA.

One satisfied customer, who asked to remain anonymous (not his real name), said "I got my copy Microsoft Office cheaper and faster than ordering from one of those disreputable sellers on eBay."

For obvious reasons, we can't tell you the cities or states where the store is located, but there is a map available for download on most bittorent sites.

No one knows who is financially backing the stores, but many suspect that it could be The Pirate Bay, Al-Qaeda or the Republican Party.