We take a look at the differences between a Grumpy Old Man before the Internet existed, and how he looks in today's Internet world.
|
Before the Internet
|
After the Internet
|
| Was 60+ years old. |
Is 30+ years old. |
| Yelled at kids to get off his lawn. |
Flames kids for spamming his blog. |
| Collected stamps/coins |
Collects email accounts/runecloth |
| Complained about how he had to walk to school. Uphill. Both ways! |
Complains about how he had to surf for porn. At 56k. Both ways! |
| "We only had sock soup to eat for dinner, and we liked it!" |
"We only had Slashdot to flame the noobs, and we liked it!" |
| Cut out newspaper clippings. Sent them to his kids. |
Forwards latest urban myth email to everyone in the office. |
| Sat on the porch with a shotgun. |
Sits on the porch with a laptop pirating the neighbor's open wifi network. |
| Hit Denny's early for the Grand Slam breakfast. Whined about the price. |
Hit Starbucks early for a double-shot Grande Cappuccino. Whines about the price. |
| His dad lost a fortune in the stock crash of 1929. |
His dad lost a fortune in the tech crash of 1999. |
| Spent hours rocking on his rocking chair. |
Spends hours spinning on his computer chair |
| Paid neighbor kid to mow his lawn. |
Pays neighbor kid to click on his Google ads. |
| Had three or four dogs to keep him company. |
Has three or four webcam girls to keep him company. |
| Told salesmen to "Get off my porch!" |
Convinces Nigerian scammers to dress up like a Mermaid and send him a picture. |
| Got together with other Grumpy Old Men at diner to share old war stories. |
Gets together with other Grumpy Old Men in IRC to plan next instance run in World of Warcraft. |
| "Back in my day we used to respect our elders" |
"PWNT!!!" |
| Never got laid. |
Never gets laid. |
