Friday, July 20 12:00 AM EDT

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
You'll realize that your USB Squirt Gun idea was not very bright, and all it cost you was a short-circuited motherboard.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
If at first you don't succeed, try groveling.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You will painfully discover that your mastery of Tiger Woods Golf 2006 doesn't translate into real life skill.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You will set the record for most hot dogs regurgitated at the company picnic. Congratulations.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
No one will appreciate you reprogramming the thermostat to a basement-dweller friendly 68 degrees.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You will rediscover that you have no life after you quit playing World of Warcraft. Back to Azeroth with you.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Nobody's buying your whole "experiments with mold" story. Time to clean out the refrigerator.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
It's youtube not yourtube. No one wants to see a video of that.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Please do not read this horoscope if you have a history of liver problems, trouble urinating or erectile dysfunction.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The stars know it's tempting, but try not to bring up physics too often at the company baseball outing.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
It's only a matter of time before ESPN airs the World Series of MySpace. Keep practicing.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
The summer heat will make you reconsider lining your basement walls with tin foil.