Monday, March 20 12:00 AM ET

Playstation 3 Powered
By Small Nuclear Reactor

Tokyo – Sony confirmed that a self-contained nuclear reactor would power the Playstation 3.

"The PS3 is a very powerful system," said Sony representative Toshio Iwaki. "We can't expect municipalities to build new power plants just so gamers can play hot new games. That's why we developed the proprietary PS3 Enriched Uranium Stick ™.

Sony denies accusations by parent groups who say this is all part of Sony's plan to create a generation of mutant super children. "Sure the games for the PS3 will be complex but regular kids will be able to play them. Mutant super children won't be needed until the PS5, so parents can rest easy," said Iwaki.

Sony created its own isotope of Uranium and enriched it using a special process to prevent third parties from developing replacements. Like the Xbox 360 the power supply will be extremely heavy because of the lead needed to shield users from harmful radiation.

The company has already begun reassuring customers about the safety of having a small nuclear reactor in your home. "We've started an ad campaign featuring The Simpsons that tells consumers that the PS3 is no more dangerous to your health than eating a double Quarter Pounder with cheese while driving a Ford Escort without your seat belt fastened while smoking an unfiltered Marlboro. I think most Americans will be comfortable with that risk."

Like the PS2, the PS3 will be illegal to export to certain rogue nations and suburbs.