Friday, February 24 12:00 AM ET

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Not fragging your signifigant other in Far Cry is not an appropriate Valentine's Day gift.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Based on your viewing habits, your Tivo has concluded that you're a serial killer and has phoned the police.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Your moral compass will be thrown off by the electromagnetic emissions of your power supply resulting in your decision to purchase a copy of Windows XP.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Good news, everybody! All your favorite shows will be un-cancelled by the networks, now you will have even less of a social life.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Don't worry the stars aren't watching the Winter Olympics either.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
You can't hide it; the stars know you have already broken your New Year's resolution not to upgrade any computer parts unless it's absolutely necessary.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You will use your old digital camera more than you ever have in the past to take pictures of your new digital camera so you can show it off online.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
We know you love computers, but that flash animation you made to prove it borders on pornographic.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You will die after your bladder explodes because you refused to hit pause during a continuous showing of the Lord of The Rings Trilogy back-to-back marathon.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
This week you will learn that you can't contract computers viruses from engaging in cyber-sex, but you can be arrested in 12 different states.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Tragedy results when you squeeze your iPod Nano in a vice in an attempt make it even thinner.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You will invent a clever new emoticon that will be adopted for use by the entire interweb almost overnight, but know one will believe you.