This year marks the third year of the BBspot Trailer Awards. Movie studios know that BBspot trailer reviews can make or break a film. A trailer award for best trailer could accelerate DVD sales. Probably not, but it's fun to dream. I give you this year's awards...
Worst Trailer of the Year
The nominees are...
Elektra - "The trailer just seemed confusing to me. I wasn't sure who was good.
Who was bad. Or why I should care. It could be the codeine talking, but
I doubt it."
Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo - "This could be the worst trailer ever released for the worst movie ever created. It's painful to watch. It was endorsed by the National Bulimia Society for its vomit-inducing "comedy.""
The Man - "English mother fucker, do you speak it? If you do, you shouldn't go see this movie. If you don't, you can't understand what I'm writing, but you still shouldn't go see the movie."
Son of the Mask - "This one appears to be made for brain-damaged, blind children with only 20% hearing. Actually, those are the only children you can safely take to the movie without worry of further harm."
This could be the worst batch of nominees yet. It's a tough decision, but the aboslute worst is...
Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo
Rob Schneider in a diaper? That's the bottom of the barrel.
Honorary Purple Heart for Reviewer Who Had to Rewatch All Four Worst Trailer Nominees
The nominees are:
Brian Briggs - “My eyes, my eyes! ”
Brian Briggs -
"Never has ten minutes been so unbearable."
Brian Briggs -
"I endure so you don't have to."
Brian Briggs - "Think of the children."
The Spottie
goes to...
Brian Briggs
I feel your pain.
Best Trailer With a One Word Title
The nominees are...
Flightplan - I thought it should be two words, but I looked it up.
Serenity - Action, humor, space ships, what's not to like?
Hostage - A trailer for those of us waiting for Die Hard 4
Doom - I can smell what The Rock is cooking, and it's not a Spottie.
Elektra - This one has no chance.
And the Spottie goes to...
Serenity
Sometimes you just have to make up awards for the trailers you like.
Best Trailer of the Year
The nominees are...
Revenge of the Sith - The trailer had a tough job. Raising expectations after two disappointing films. It delivered.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A satire of trailers for a satire movie. Brilliantly hilarious.
Batman Begins - Finally, a comic book trailer worth seeing. The dark side of Batman was a winner.
Serenity - A great blend of comedy and action. It's playing with the big boys.
And the Spottie for Best Trailer of the Year goes to...
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Just too darn funny and creative to not win.
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