Monday, August 20 12:00 AM ET

Terrorism Boosted by Caffeine

Washington D.C. - Ever since the destruction of training facilities in Afghanistan, Al Qaeda has resorted to using Internet Cafés to base their operations according to a recent report from the American Central Intelligence Agency indicates.

The Internet Cafes provide a ready-made facility for distributed terrorist "cells" such as Al Qaeda. Reports from the CIA suggest that this has provided an insidious side effect that sees terrorists who are able to stay up much later in order to plan their mayhem. Extensive intelligence gathering involving reading customer feedback cards indicate that these groups are partial to mocha blends served in a "latte" configuration.

A CIA spokesman who cannot be identified suggested, "Dealing with Al Qaeda operatives use to be a strictly 9 to 5 business but since moving into Internet Cafés we are finding they are operating into the very early hours of the morning. These Internet Cafés serve as command posts for terrorist groups with Internet access, good mobile phone coverage, a large selection of beverages, and a range of sweeteners as well as delicious pastries and other refreshments. It’s frightening."