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Ode to the Nigerian Spammer
By Angus Reid
My Hotmail account seems quite ample,
I’d never describe it as spam-full,
Only ever had one,
At the time it seemed fun,
So below I’ve included a sample:
“My name is Wilson Kiptobe,
My client he trust and he know me,
He lend me some cash,
To invest – he no rash,
I assist long time, bank of Nairobi
My client he very rich man,
To start he invest $50 grand,
By the time he took ill,
It become $50 mill,
Now he die and leave me no plan
I wish share this new money with you,
There’s only one thing you must do,
Give your details to me,
Bank account and ID,
And then we be rich man too
Please mustn’t take any longer,
As money it come out from Conga,
You must fast reply,
I tell you no lie,
Signed – King Winston Kiptonga
Sex, aeroplane, motor car,
Viagra, foghorn, drug, czar,
Swimming, cat, cheap,
E-bay, download, sleep,
Keanu, information, child, bar.”
So this e-mail I happily greeted,
With laughter that ‘Winston’ so feted,
Would spam me with these,
‘Account details please’,
E-mails I’ve promptly deleted.
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