Thursday, April 28 12:00 PM ET

Plug And Play (Keep 'Em All Updated)

(To the tune of " Come out and play (keep'm separated)" by Offspring)

You gotta keep 'em all updated

Your computer's crashing
Your computer will freeze
The driver's crapping out on you and you're lashing
Hang your printer with the greatest of ease

And MS tells you Plug and Play's unsurpassed
But when you started using it you got nowhere fast
If nothing works then you know you need a fix
You're gonna patch it up, patch it up,
patch it up, patch it up

Hey - why'd I have to get blue-screened?
Don't you pout
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey - what is wrong with my machine?
When in doubt
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey, you need to unwind
If your drivers ain't keen
then to a halt your game will grind
Hey, that's plug and play

By this time you feel you're tiring
Driver updates you hate
Patching up the patch and the hardware still fails
Your time's wasted, your computer's a waste

You reset this time as the thousand before
Nothing's getting better
Nothing works anymore
This never ending spree of bugs and patches inflates
Your gonna format your drive, format your drive, format your

Hey - I need patch 1.03
Losing count
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey - Why can't I see the CD?
Drive won't mount
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey, I'm in such a bind
On my 19-inch screen just 16 colors are defined
Hey, that's plug and play.

It crashes again, no one's keeping the score
Nothing's running better
It seems worse than before
This never ending spree of crash, reboot and reset
Is gonna make you lose hope, make you lose hope, make you lose...

Hey - My computer's teasing me
Don't you shout
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey - nothing works on USB
Take them out
You gotta keep 'em all updated

Hey, gonna lose my mind
Drank a lot of caffeine, resetting for the sixteenth time
Hey, let's plug and pray

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