Thursday, January 6 12:00 AM ET

U.S. Pledges $350 Million and Magical Unicorns for Tsunami Relief

Washington D.C. - To help with the Indian Ocean Tsunami disaster, the Untied State pledged $350 million dollars plus 10 herds of the finest magical Unicorns to help with the disaster.

President Bush spoke of the significance of the United States contribution, "This money will help the South Pacificans rebuild their infrastructure, and these special, magical unicorns will till the land magically, bringing it back to life and prosperity."

World opinion has gone against the Unites State's promised contribution. An unnamed Indian official's comments showed skepticism that the U.S. would keep its commitment, "magical Unicorns are fine but I have more trouble believing that America will make good on its promise of the full $350 million. In times of crisis, such nations often come up with aid pledges that they don't deliver on once the media attention has died down."

There was also some concern the U.S. contribution to the relief effort is not enough, especially because of a much larger contribution pledge by Japan of 500 million dollars plus 10,000 burrowing gnomes to aid with the rubble clearing. "At least the Japanese have the nerve to lie to us on a much grander scale," said the Indian official.

The devastated countries of the Indian Ocean region have good precedent to worry about the sincerity of promised financial aid. Of the 1.1 billion promised to Iran after their earthquake last year, about 17.5 million has materialized... and the magic beans were apparently a complete joke.