Friday, October 1 12:00 AM ET

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You will pleasantly surprised when one the Top 11 Geek Pick-Up Lines actually works.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You find out the hard way that you need more than just a Turbo Boost button to jump over cars.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
If you fail to plan then you'll have more time to watch TV.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Donating a cappuccino machine to the office was a stroke of genius, especially since you're making a fortune selling them the custom filters.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Apparently, you do need some stinkin' badges to carry a gun onto a plane.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
It may not be the tastiest way to get protein in your diet, but nightcrawlers sure are cheap.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The stars say a 24-hour all-you-can-drink caffeine bar needs more than one bathroom.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Sometimes it takes a real man to show his true feelings. Especially if those feelings involve discharging firearms.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
That new free blogging software you've been trying out is actually a life form.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Bad news. That invite you got for G-Male isn't for a web mail service.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Your attempt to break your own personal overclocking record will fail when a friend opens the fridge to get a Coke.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You finally get the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD only to find out the new 10 disk enhanced box set is coming out in 6 months.