Friday, May 28 12:00 AM ET

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Vodka jello shots are great fun, but probably not the best snack time choice for your five year old.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
You'll be looking for a new job this week when you realize you're the only one in the office not excitedly awaiting the Olsen twins 18th birthday.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Somehow winning the World Series of Computer Solitaire just isn't that satisfying.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Telling your grandpa to tape a card to his CPU fan like he used to on his bike spokes, just isn't nice.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
There's more than one way to skin a cat, but showing it in graphic detail on a website is not advised.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Like a dog, sometimes all a server needs to behave is a sharp rap with a hammer.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
The IT department suggested you should DEfrag your hard drive, not frag it. Go pick up the pieces.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your classmates in the sexual harassment sensitivity course will refuse to buy your likely story about your offer to show a female co-worker your "flash game".

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Teh satrs say yuo wlil sufefr form a litlte lysdexia becuase o fhte jutiper moon alingmnet.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The results are back from the doctor. Bad news, you have DVD rot.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Using hard drives frozen in blocks of ice to keep the punch cold at the LAN party, might be the geekiest thing you've ever done.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Everybody has their demons, most people don't talk to them during sales meetings though.