Friday, May 14 12:00 AM ET

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You will gain Internet fame this week when your EULA finally becomes larger than your software.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Power corrupts, but moving office equipment corrupts power supplies.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Selling your dot-com bubble era Aeron Chair so you can buy a few shares of stock in Google's IPO... how ironic.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Beating the curve on your finals is satisfying; beating the snobby TA with a crowbar even more so.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You planned your wedding down to the last detail, but who could have known you needed extra security for one wily Canadian.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You will get in a lot of trouble this week after you misunderstand what they meant by Coke is it!

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the sales guy's stupid ideas.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
The network admin may have removed solitaire and mine sweeper from your PC, but that doesn't give you the right to bring Hungry, Hungry Hippos to the office.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Moving your office to the basement will bring you closer to your inner geek, and the overflowing sump pump.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You will be geeked about getting a new Radeon X800 video card, until you realize they don't make an ISA version of it.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
No matter what the waiter says, finding a human finger in your gazpacho is not a sign of good luck.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Is that a multifunction PDA-camera-cellphone-mp3-player in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?