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Pasadena, CA - NASA today announced that, in an attempt to further
obey their thirst for knowledge, they have launched their latest
rover, Sprite, which will explore the marketing department of a large
software company currently believed to be devoid of any intelligent
life.
 "Initially we just sent it in search of water," said NASA
team leader Mark Schoenberg. "But as the rover approached the
water cooler, its audio sensors began to detect a very distinct 'buzz'
sound." For Schoenberg, this surreal buzz encountered by the
small rover at the foot of the looming, obelisk-like water cooler
seemed to evoke images of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Schoenberg and his team at first believed this buzzing sound was
a way in which living creatures in the marketing department communicate
with one another. However, these communications, or "buzz words",
according to several accomplished linguists collaborating with the
NASA team, are riddled with semantic ambiguity and create an extremely
hostile environment for communication.
"Unfortunately, because of these findings," Schoenberg
said, "we are forced to conclude it is highly unlikely that
any intelligent life could exist in the marketing department."
This news comes on the heels of Sprite's recovery from near total
disaster. For a short period of time last week, the Sprite Rover
had lost the ability to communicate with NASA scientists back at
base. This problem was solved in part by "pinging" the
rover to diagnose connectivity issues. Schoenberg, explaining this
pinging procedure, said, "It involves asking the rover 'Can
you hear me now?' repeatedly. The rover replied that it could hear
us, and that was good."
Employees in other departments of the company are watching this
mission very closely. Ranjit Meni, in the engineering department,
is openly skeptical of the initial findings. "I think I've received
an email from someone there once." said Meni. After several
searches of his mail folders, Meni was unable to produce any such
emails.
He also claims that he's seen conference rooms reserved for their
meetings, but admits he's never actually seen such a meeting. Meni
hangs an "I Want To Believe" poster in his office.
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