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Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without
the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing
because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of
the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just
simply amazing.
Believers
The Jar-Jaromir story caught
this guy, though I can't really blame him. I'd like to see a trailer
for RotK too...
From: Miguel
Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 2:05 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: ROTK Trailer
Hey, I was reading the news about the new character in ROTK
and a trailer to ROTK was mentioned. Is there a trailer to
the ROTK!
Could you please phrase your questions as questions and not
exclamations!
The Tivo story got read
on-air during the Deminski
and Doyle show...
From: Josh
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 5:19 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: TIVO Gal Feature
I was listening to 97.1 FM this afternoon in Detroit. Diminski
and Doyle were discussing the new Tivo, and I was surprised
to hear them basically quoting your article. I thought you’d
like to know. They did mention the URL though, and the sites
name. After about 20 minutes, someone must have called them
and gave them the heads-up on the fact your site is satire.
Please don't send these guys a link to the dMac story.
Indestructible
Piñata
People either loved or hated the Piñata
story, some thought it was out of place on BBspot and would've
been more at home on The Onion, but others found humor in the
reality...
From: el pirate
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 1:56 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Fucking Piñata Finally Breaks
this sooo happened at my friend's kid's birthday party. It
ended with a 35 y.o. violently whacking the stupid thing with
a baseball bat... the funny part being that the piñata
he had been (and the one shown in your picture is) of a new "nonviolent" type
where each child is supposed to walk up to the piñata
and pull one of the ribbons hanging from the bottom, when the
right ribbon is pulled the candy is released. The theory is
that instead of teaching kids to hit things with a bat you
get the same thrill of anticipation but in a gentle and loving
way (pulling ribbons out of sponge bob's butt). It appears,
however, that it actually leads to greater violence....
The Bush Doctrine
Some stories just don't fit in well in the regular rotation of
BBspot stories, but are still worth perusing...
China Cites
Bush Doctrine in Surprise Attack on US
by Not Listed
Chinese President Hu Jintao gave a press conference today, hours
after the surprise attack on several major US cities.
“For nearly a century, we have been doing two things: building
our armies, and looking for an excuse to destroy America. With
his Gulf War Sequel, President Bush has given us the political
justification for this.”
According to Jintao, his attack had to meet five criteria to
qualify for consideration under the Bush Doctrine.
- The country must be proportionally smaller than yours, and
located on the other side of the world.
- They have to have a system of government you have trained
your citizens to loathe.
- They must be suspected of, but not necessarily proven to
have, weapons of
mass destruction.
- Their citizens must speak a different language than your
citizens.
- Their nation must possess resources or trinkets of value,
which can be divided amongst your allies once the conflict
is over.
“We had been planning to take some kind of military action
for months,” stated Military Leader Jiang Zemin, “but
when they prevented our weapons inspectors from searching their
country for nuclear weapons, that was when we knew we had to
take action.”
President Bush responded quickly to the threat by ordering planes
to drop
food and pamphlets on Chinese soil in retaliation for the shower of missiles
and bombs that decimated much of the west coast. He was quoted as saying,
"My advisers and I believe this situation can still be resolved diplomatically
[sic], without the use of military force."
France and Germany applauded the initiative of the Chinese Government
in a
joint press release shortly after the attacks, while beatniks across the
United States protested American involvement in the war.
White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer gave a statement today
condemning
the attacks and demanding that General Tso’s Chicken be renamed General
Lee’s Chicken.
Chinese President Hu concluded his comments by saying, “plus,
with the
United States out of the way, we can finally get back at Japan for that
little stunt where they tried to invade our country during World War II.
Honestly, what were they thinking?”
That's all for this week!
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