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Wednesday, April 2 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.

For the first two years I let April 1st pass with nary a practical joke on my readers. I thought it would be redundant on a site like BBspot that does stuff like that 364 days out of the year. Then last year I changed course and redesigned the home page and made an announcement that BBspot was joining the MSN network joke. Several people complained of having heart attacks, and cursed my name that day for selling out.

It's very difficult concocting something for the intelligent BBspot crowd. No one would believe if the site got h4X0r3d on April 1st, and making an announcement that I'm quitting the site would just be cruel. I had to come up with something better.

This year, the new Mailbag feature provided the setting for the prank. The regular readers of the site love to point and laugh at the fools who believe the BBspot stories. I attempted to turn the tables on them, and you can read the following emails to see if I was successful.

Dripping with Irony

Some thought that I was the one being duped by these e-mails. Baaa...

From: Doug [mailto:Dougxxxxxx@xxxxxx.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 11:05 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: mailbag


you dirty son of a bitch. I was reading the email from 'microsoft' and i was like, he obviously fell for a fake email from someone or he makes up these emails. Then i read the email about you making these up. I was like, woah, thats weird. And then i hit the bottom of the mailbag.

you dirty s.o.b. How dare you fool with my emotions.

tremendously funny, as always.

i hope there is a real mailbag tommorow though!

A common thread through many of these emails is the use of profanity directed at me. Normally, I would be upset at being called some of the names you will read, but today I wear them as a medal of accomplishment.

Double-Takes

Now the next emails came in as pairs. The first email would congratulate me. The second wasn't always so friendly...

From: Jim [mailto:Jimxxxxx@comcast.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 8:52 AM
To: 'briggsb@bbspot.com'
Subject: Damn!

A message from Peter Jackson?! Major kudos. If he can come up with something as funny as the Jack Black/Sarah Michelle Geller MTV easter egg on TFOTR DVD, we're in for a treat...And all thanks to you. I gotta say you run an excellent site. Half the fun is reading emails from those that either don't get it or those that think they do. OK, 31.59%, but we'll round up.

Four minutes later...

From: Jim [mailto:Jimxxxxxx@comcast.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 8:56 AM
To: 'briggsb@bbspot.com'
Subject: Should've read further

You bitch. I got to the end and forgot the date until I got there. Now it's down to 28.03%

Next...

Now a scoop of double-take with a side order of irony...

From: Patrick [mailto:xxxxxx@verizon.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 12:21 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: not so awesome news

Microsoft has no VP of Marketing named Marie Bixby.

(Nor does Microsoft have an employee named Karl Franks (or Carl Franks))

I wouldn't be surprised to find that you got had with that one...

About three people wrote to tell me there was no Karl Franks at Microsoft. One minute later...

From: Patrick [mailto:xxxxxx@verizon.net]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 12:22 PM
To: Patrick Cook [Home]; briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Re: not so awesome news

I hate you.

Thank you. Next...

From: Alan [mailto:support@xxxxxx.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 12:13 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: PJ Email

Duuuuuuuuuuude!

My guess is that's the congratulatory form of the word "dude."
Six minutes later...

From: Alan [mailto:support@xxxxxx.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 12:19 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: PJ Email Redux

Gak!

I can't believe you suckered me! If you do it one more FUCKING time,
I'm going to stop reading BBSpot FOREVER.

Hopefully, by next year he'll have forgiven me.

From: xxxx@xxxxxx.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 4:54 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Microsoft mail - probably fake

Check the headers on the mail you got from "Microsoft" - probably a fake. There is no Karl Franks that works at Microsoft, either as "Lead Counsel", or anywhere else for that matter. If Microsoft does ever send you mail, it will probably be from one of the paralegals first, anyway. Let me know if you get any "Microsoft" mails in the future - I can check them out for you.

Then reality sets in...

From: xxxxxx@xxxxxx.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 5:53 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Re: Microsoft mail - probably fake

OK, that will teach me to not read all the way to the bottom of the article before sending mail. I was really trying hard not to get fooled by April Fool's pranks this year, but I have to say, you got me.

Please ignore my foolish mail.

Then more reality sets in...

From: xxxxxx@xxxxxx.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 5:54 PM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: Re: Microsoft mail - probably fake

Oh, and I would request that you not include this exchange in your next mailbag feature, because as much as I enjoy the feature, I would appreciate keeping a) my pride b) my job.

Then acceptance...

From: xxxxxx@xxxxxx.edu]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 6:01 PM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: RE: Microsoft mail - probably fake

Well, since I really like the site, you can run the email, IF you remove all identifying marks, INCLUDING MY NAME.

Sure thing Mr. Ballmer :-)

Believers

It takes a lot of courage to admit when you've been fooled. I commend these fine BBspotters who let me know that they had been had. Now let's all laugh at them...

From: Matthew xxxxxxx [mailto:xxxxxx@bigpond.net.au]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 7:10 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: You got me....

I’d always thought Australians and engineers were immune to almost all forms of deceit (being from cynical convict stock), but I will gladly declare to the entire world, that I didn’t’ even feel the hook go in…. I am humbled and bow my head in shame oh great dark master.

And on April 1st of all days god dam it!!!

Don't worry, you weren't alone.

Even with my declaration that it was an April Fools joke, this guy is still not sure.

From: Yoda [mailto:xxxxxx@jedisaber.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 9:06 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: BBSpot Mailbox

Had to comment on the lastes mailbox article. I'm still not sure if these are real e-mails or not, easy to belive, but it is a satire site, and April 1st.... :-)

Anyway, I wanted to comment on the e-mail from Debbie Stabenow. As a resident of Michigan, I have no problem beiliving this one. I bet she had an AOL account before she got her goverment account. The woman is an absoulute loon.

Keep up the good work!

A real loon indeed. Next...

From: Tom xxxxxx [mailto:xxxxxx@nottingham.ac.uk]
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2003 5:41 AM
To: briggsb@bbspot.com
Subject: April Fools

On http://bbspot.com/News/2003/04/mailbag_20030401.html you wrote:
> Except for this time. If you haven't figured it out already then - APRIL >FOOLS.

Aaargh! Cunt. Haha lol. I have to wake up my flat mate so I can play tricks on him. If I don't he won't get out of bed all day.

...I think the fire alarm would be a good way to get him up...

Somewhere in the UK a flat mate got a very rude awakening.

I didn't even let my friends in on the joke. Fuzzy Logic contributor, Jackrabbit, figured it out just in time...

Jackrabbit: The Peter Jackson email made my fingers go tingly for a minute. I was all "Holy SHIT!"
Jackrabbit: and then reality set in.
Jackrabbit: but you got me.
Jackrabbit: I even went in EXPECTING April Fools, and I still got burned.
Jackrabbit: jeez... my body is now processing all that adrenaline.
Jackrabbit: dick.
Jackrabbit: I'm just glad I realized before linking to any of my friends.
Jackrabbit: I went so far as to open my ICQ list. I was about to pick a person to mention the link to when reason flooded in.

That's all for this week. Thanks.

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