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Paris - France has invoked a long forgotten clause to demand that
the Statue of Liberty be returned.
The people of France sent Lady Liberty as a gift to the people of
the United States in 1886, but the recent row between the countries
over Iraq has them rethinking their present. A graduate student in
history, Jean Renault, at the École Centrale Paris uncovered
a document which gives France the right to recall the gift under
certain conditions.
"It says right here," said Renault pointing to the aged
document, "that if America drops below a certain level on the
Franklin Scale (an international measure of a country's liberty and
freedoms) that France can demand the statue back."
Jacques Chirac glowed with excitement at the discovery. "Finally,
the Americans will feel the wrath of the French. We plan on putting
the statue in Eurodisney, or giving it to a more freedom-loving country
like North Korea."
Chirac also warned that if the statue is not returned that France
would "vigorously enforce its patent on French Fries, and send
all its good red wine to Germany." Economists believe such moves
would cripple an already weak American economy.
The news infuriated many Americans. Karl Cabot of Waukesha, Wisconsin
said, "You know I sorta remember reading about a clause like
that before, but I say screw the Frenchies. The statue should stay
in Washington D.C. where it belongs!"
President Bush vehemently opposed the request. "America is
the land of the free and the home of the brave. It says so in our
constitution. God bless America."
A recent poll showed that Americans favored renaming the statue
to the Statue of Quasi-Liberty, or The Torch Lady in order to keep
the monument in New York harbor.
Tony Blair suggested a compromise in which the Statue of Liberty
would be left exactly where it is and France would "bugger off."
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