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Washington D.C. - Democratic Senator Vern Hamilton from Michigan
announced today that while he opposes the invasion of Iraq, he fully
supports the men and women, mainly women, walking the streets of
Washington D.C.
"I vocally opposed the legislation giving President Bush authority
to send troops into Iraq. I question the President's motive for sending
troops to topple Saddam, but I don't question the motives of our
men and women in fur," said Hamilton.
"Our President has thrown diplomacy out the window, much like
hookers are thrown out the window when they short their pimps. While
our troops tool around the desert in HumVees worth thousands of dollars,
our ladies of the night give tools hummers for a mere $20," explained
Hamilton.
Hamilton continued, "It's the duty of every American whether
they support this war or not that they pray for our prostitutes to
make us come quickly. It's time for our citizens to go to the mattresses."
In support of the women of the night, Senator Hamilton has proposed
Senate Resolution #2769, which calls for tax deductibility for Senators
visiting whores. The bill passed unanimously and is awaiting approval
by the House of Representatives.
Senator Hill from West Virginia cosponsored the legislation. "While
the relationship between the War in Iraq and prostitution is tenuous,
I fully support Senator Hamilton's request for more action on the
streets," he said.
President Bush responded to the Senator's complaints in an address
at the Rose Garden. "While I'm disappointed the Senator Hamilton
does not support the war effort, I'll be happy to sign his bill when
it falls in my lap. Nothing makes Saddam angrier than knowing you're
getting busy with a street walker in the front seat of an American-made
Oldsmobile Cutlass."
In related news, Senator Casey of Arkansas introduced similar legislature
asking for Americans to eat less fried foods so we could reduce our
nation's dependence on oil.
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