Friday, February 28 12:00 AM EDT

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
You have a feeling that the student council has ulterior motives when they ask to invite Great White to play at the Prom.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Ants can lift up to 50 times their own weight. And your monitor is missing. Time to bring out the bugspray.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You're surprised when the IT department guys don't give you the admin password. You always gave it out to people when you worked there. That could be why you're unemployed.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Eciing to not use the "" key oes not make you a rebel, it makes you an iiot.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
For the hundredth time, Basic Instinct is not a movie about programming in Visual Basic.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
When the football team asks you who your favorite X-man is, do not answer. It's a trick question.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Experimenting with new recipes will turn tragic, when your Lemon Pledge Chicken causes respiratory problems and eyeball swelling. Keep the Poison Control Center phone number nearby.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You'd be willing to fight Mike Tyson for a million dollar pay day, but you'd probably have better luck getting people to pay you a million dollars to keep your shirt on.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Fidelity Inspectors suspect cheating, and decide to destroy your al-Samoud missile. Beware.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You'll realize you're gonna need a new hobby when you can't find any new files to download with Kazaa.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Highlight of the week: The State Fair monster truck rally. Low Point: You have to sit next to Grand Marshall Lee Majors.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You finally have a chance to get on one of those "reality" dating shows when Fox announces "When Geeks Elope" for next fall.