Friday, October 25 12:00 AM EDT

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You will never forget the look of horror on your roommate's face when he finds out you are almost blind. But, hey, anyone can get paprika and cyanide mixed up, right?

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
The neighborhood kids trick or treating at your house aren't as impressed as you thought they would be by the Boba Fett heads you meticulously carved out of onions for them.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Life may be uncertain, but you can always be sure that somewhere out there, there is a psychotic, mutant horse willing to kick you in the face.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
With Halloween quickly approaching you'll finally have one day where people won't think you're a dork for going cubicle to cubicle in search of candy.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Never eat spinach with a stranger.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You'll discover just how much time flies when you spend 6 hours debating PC games vs. consoles with your 8 year old nephew.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You really can't expect your bladder to hold out the WHOLE board meeting. Turn your embarrassment into corporate success!!

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
It's been a year since the operation and still no one has worked up the nerve to ask you about the third eyebrow.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have your porn AVIs discovered by your mom.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
Whether coding or writing papers for school you'll live your motto this week: "It's better to be drunk than right."

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
This week will be full of deja vu. This week will be full of deja vu.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Your increased interest in politics is admirable, but I don't think picketing in front of Verant against Everquest inflation really counts.