Friday, October 25 12:00 AM EDT

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
The "No Food In Cubicles" rule was meant to be broken. The boss hates you. The rats and cockroaches, however, are forever in your debt.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Where there's smoke, there's fire, and in your case no eyebrows either.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
It might be a good idea to check and see if Dr. Ano is really a Dr. Pepper rip off or if your roommate did some creative labeling.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
It will be hard to tell if your date is bored or just tired. If you've spent the last 2 hours covering the differences between reiserfs, ext3, and XFS file systems then odds are that it's boredom.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
The new $300 cell phone you bought has every feature you'd ever hoped for. Except it's not waterproof. A little too late now, huh?

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
The bug that bit you wont give you radioactive mosquito powers. In fact, it's probably just West Nile Virus.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
The T3 outage in Phoenix will not only delay your teleconference, but you also won't be able to steal The Two Towers from KaZaa, either.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
While the Saints may be 3-0, second mortgaging the house for a bet on the Super Bowl win might be a bit premature.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
Your enthusiasm for the new release of Mandrake Linux is dampened when you realize that they are French.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Despite all your lobbying efforts you won't be able to convince Apple to release OS X for the Commodore 64.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
It's sad to see all your ICQ friends wimp out and switch to MSN Messenger. Only one thing left to do: get new friends.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You will finally realize this week you have NOT been working in hell, but I must admit the guys dressed in red pajamas poking people were deceiving.