Friday, April 18 12:00 AM EDT

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
It'll be another lonely Sunday night over at your Daikatanaholic's Anonymous meeting.

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Scratching out "Computer Programmer" on your business card and replacing it with "Master of the Universe" does not make it official. Try again.

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
You've unknowingly graduated to supergeek after creating a cron-job to e-mail you reminders of the new Farscape episodes.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
While your painstaking research study on traffic patterns fails to earn you a Nobel prize, it does reveal the optimal time to leave for work.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
You will emerge from the subbasement at your company after a two year long programming binge, only to realize they went out of business in October 2001.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
The 120 MB download size was the first clue that something else might be bundled with the simple text editor, but the 300 page license agreement and the 17 hour install time finally convinces you.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
Sure it's clever, but your roommate will become very annoyed with the loud beeping sound your computer makes every time it backs up in the middle of the night.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You'll spend Saturday hung over and searching for a new keyboard after your reckless experimentation with keyboard piercing.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
This week you will have a three-day trip. Unfortunately, it's a trip to the bathroom.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Even if you think it should be called the Two Towers Preview instead of the Two Towers Trailer, your coworkers don't care. Give up, already.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
The stars recommend you discard the idea of writing a musical called "Hacker!"

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Your plan to see your buxom cubicle mate nude faces a major setback when your employer denies your request to change the company motto to,"The only good programmer is a naked programmer."