Satire for Smart People
  About BBlog BBloopers BBoard BBspot's Book of Geek BBshop Archives
Features
The BBspot BBook
The BBook of Geek
In stores this fall. Preorder it today at Amazon

BBlog

Daily Links - 10/8/08 What the Fark? Daily Links 10/7/08
BBloopers
Doctor Drunk
Family Time
Wait a Minute
Top 11
Top 11 Excuses for Helping Fix Your Parent's Computer
PC Weenies
Need a Hug
Windows Ubuntu
Three Rules of Bogus Buy
Geek Horoscopes
Random Geek Horoscopes
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
Games
Game:Pirate Race
Shrunken Heads
Funny Bubbles
RSS
BBlog XML/RSS feed
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Save This Page
Follow on Twitter
Recommended
Fark
Broken Newz
The Toque
Worth 1000
PC Weenies
Mental Floss
Smashing Games
Free Codecs
SlushFactory
Geek Press
I-Mockery
FreeWorldGroup
Geek of the Day
Um... Things
Jokes Gallery
Yo! Free Games
Funny Pictures
More Links

Thursday, August 2 12:01 AM EST

New Law Protects Free Speech

By Brian Briggs

Washington DC - The Free Speech Protection Act [FSPA] ensures free speech by encrypting the first amendment and only allowing properly licensed corporations and individuals to use it.  Funding to develop the encryption is being generated by auctions of these free speech licenses. Use of free speech without a license would be punishable by heavy fines and 5-10 years in federal prison.

Congress brought to you by the fine folks at Disney"Every American wants and deserves free speech.  It's a competitive advantage for the USA.  We don't want countries like China to get a hold of our first amendment," said Senator Trent Lott of Mississippi.  "That's why we've entrusted protecting our free speech to cutting edge technology companies like Microsoft and Adobe."  The Free Speech Protection legislation was sponsored by Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska and AOL TW in the Senate and by Disney in the House of Representatives.

Senior Marketing Director of Adobe Allan Wyse said, "In combination with the DMCA [Digital Millenium Copyright Act] this accords utmost protection for free speech.  If anyone attempts to break the encryption they can be prosecuted.  If they speak freely without a license they can be prosecuted.  In the end free speech is protected for all Americans, or at least those that have purchased a free speech license."

Many Americans were outraged by the FSPA. "You mean we now have to pay for free speech?" said Darren Gilmour, "That's not exactly free, is it?"

Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft, explained "That's one of the biggest complaints we get about the new legislation, but Americans should think of 'free' as in 'free speech,' not as in 'free beer'."

In a confusing twist, the Electronic Frontier Foundation which fights to protect the free speech rights of citizens opposed the Free Speech Protection Act. "Congress wants you to believe that the FSPA protects the first amendment and it does in a way, but not in a good way. OK, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but trust us on this one. This law is unconstitutional and we're confident the Supreme Court will rule it unconstitutional."

The Supreme Court, brought to you in HDTV by Sony, will begin hearing arguments on the constitutionality of the law in October.

A quick search on Gnutella provided several cracks for the yet unreleased encryption scheme, making free speech available to anyone with an Internet connection.

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Previous Story:

Your Ride is Here
Next Story:

Reasons You Haven't Patched IIS Yet


  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Yahootemplates Web Templates - Goverment Grants - bingo - PDF to Doc Converter - Panic Attack - Internet Eraser Software - DirectoryDump Web Directory
Private Krankenversicherung - Recover Deleted Files - Learn how to protect your assests
Vending Machines - Bad credit payday loan - Sales training - Mortage Rate Deals

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.