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Santa Cruz, CA - Development on Ximpanzee has slowed to a halt after
a global nuclear war, dubbed "World War III", wiped out
98% of the US population. Wallace Hardy heads development for
Ximpanzee, an Integrated Development Environment for building applications
in Pascal++.
 "It's
already 11:30 and I haven't seen a single Friday Status Report? What's
up with that? These guys know how I get when the FSRs aren't on my
desk in time," said Wallace. "The project is already
3 weeks behind schedule and now these guys won't even return my emails. Some
heads are gonna roll for this. I guar-an-tee you."
The nuclear holocaust occurred shortly after 4 pm EST on Tuesday.
Countries hardest hit by the fallout were the US with 98% casualties,
Russia with 97% casualties and China with 94% casualties. Any remaining
survivors on earth are expected to die shortly in the upcoming nuclear
winter.
According to Mr. Hardy, these facts aren't a sufficient excuse for
failure of the project. "Sure there is no electricity, but haven't
these guys heard of laptops or portable generators? It's unpreparedness
like this that invariably sinks a project." Mr. Hardy
now estimates that the project won't be completed until mid June
2001 which is over four months past the original deadline.
Beta testers, who have been upset by the constant delays in the
project, were furious when informed of the additional delays. One
user noted, "I've been waiting for a stable version of this
IDE for a long time. First the problem was getting all the proper
resources allocated, now it's nuclear holocaust. It's always
something with these programmers. I've never seen such a generation
of slackers in all my life."
Developers for the project did not return our calls.
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