Los Angeles - Californians jealous at the media coverage given to
recent wildfires in New Mexico and Colorado, attempted to show the
country what real wildfires were like. Unfortunately the wind
conditions and the fire department did not cooperate and the fires
were extinguished by dawn. The police department, however,
did get into the spirit of things by offering several of their cars
for the attempt.
"I'm a little disappointed," said
fire starter Henry Wiggums. "The fires in New Mexico destroyed
several homes, and thousands of acres. We were only able to
destroy a few cars and burn some trash. That's hardly worthy
of any major news coverage. If the winds had cooperated then
maybe, just maybe, channel 5 news would have come down with a camera
crew."
The Los Angeles wildfire barely made that top 100 wildfires of the
year, so the chants of "we're number one" heard throughout
the evening were a bit premature. "These people were
amateurs," said fire expert Ted Stevenson. "I've
seen some wildfires in the city, but most occur in densely wooded
areas that are experiencing a drought. Concrete buildings and
asphalt roads just aren't the right ingredients."
The wildfires however did qualify as a major disaster and satisfied
California's new state law requiring at least one major disaster
every month. Governor Gray Davis said, "While disappointed
our wildfires did not compare to Colorado's or New Mexico's, we are
pleased that the citizens of Los Angeles banded together to give
us our major disaster for the month of June. Some may say that
it doesn't compare to an earthquake or mudslide, but a wildfire is
a very worthy disaster."
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