Virgo
Aug 23 - Sept 22
You'll hit it big when your custom edit and remix of Steve Ballmer's "monkey
boy" video is re-released as "Sweating with the CEOs" an
exercise tape for geeks.
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You've become such an efficient and competent sysadmin that you're lonely.
Setting up a perl script via cronjob to page yourself in the middle of the
night for no reason is an indicator it's time to seek help or start administering
IIS.
Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
It may be a number between 1 and 42 but you can't convince the 7-11 clerk to
give you pi as your powerball number.
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Time to get rid of that old Epson dot-matrix that you've been saving for parts. Let
it go.
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
The stars usually keep this to themselves because they are polite, but they
really would like it if you took a shower this week.
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Your doctor will recommend that Mountain Dew may not be the optimal way to
get your RDA of Vitamin C. |
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Despair reaches new lows, when, while using Google, you're presented with an
alternate button which reads "I'm Not Feeling So Lucky".
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You'll have the opportunity for the best job interview yet. Better practice
your Quake rocket-jumps, because you'll have to beat your interviewer in the
best of three.
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You and your friends start your own Fight Club but meeting at clubs.yahoo.com
isn't all that exhilarating.
Gemini
May 21 - June 21
It's about time that you remodeled your bedroom. The Thundercats
wallpaper needs to come down. Besides, mom still doesn't
like it.
Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Good news: that is a giant crate of Windows XP being dropped from a helicopter
and not just your imagination. Bad news: That is a giant X you are standing
on.
Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
It turns out that the advice you got from the discussion board was all wrong:
women are NOT impressed when you crack open your case and show them your rounded
IDE cables, neon lights, and liquid-cooled dual-processor system. |
