Friday, June 15 12:00 AM EDT

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
The world loves a winner! Too bad for you.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Your favorite excuse, 'But it's barely 6am in Hawaii', doesn't quite cut the mustard this morning when you stroll into your cubicle about 2 hours late, and your boss suggests you look for another job in your own 'personal time zone'.

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
While you may have found it funny, your co-workers do, in fact, construe your singing of Monty Python's 'Sit on my Face' sexual harassment.

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sept 22
You finally understand the free speech vs. free beer argument when you try to walk out of Best Buy with an armful of Linux distros without paying.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You'll get to know the UPS man very well this week as you discover why heavy drinking and one-click shopping don't mix.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
Despite your countless phone calls and letters, James Cameron still refuses to look at your script for Titanic 2: Leonardo Dicaprio Sleeps with Me.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
The pathetic state of your life becomes crystal clear this week when you realize you have more motherboards than friends.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Apparently it's not OK to start a bonfire of Microsoft products in the aisles of CompUSA even though the Linuxrulz web site says so.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You set new standards on the Internet this week. Unfortunately it's for being the first person to get a negative score on AmIHotorNot.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
General Mills isn't too keen on your idea for brown sausages and will be looking for another marshmallow designer for Lucky Charms.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your boss isn't too keen on upgrading all the company servers to Linux.  That Steve Ballmer can be a real hard ass can't he?

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Your authentic stormtrooper outfit will be a big hit at the Star Wars convention, but will flop at your grandmother's funeral.